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everything sucks

okay. today was already a horrible start. i weighted myself: 63,7 kg.

fuck. im so weak. i hate myself. why doesnt it work anymore? i miss the old days when my volition was stronger than anything else. i need help. i dont knwo what to do anymore.

how do you make it? how do you motivate yourselfe?

love. M.

16.8.10 12:53


challenge

from tomorrow on. 7 days. one yoghurt per day.

16.8.10 00:16


scared

i'm scared to weight myself. the last two days i ate soooo much. i'm just so pissed because of that guy i already wrote about. i thought he were different. but indeed he isnt. all the guys just want the same. im so tired of it. i should lose so much weight, so that he will notice that im the best girl he can have. i want him to be addicted to me. i need it. i need him. i want him. now.

love. M.

15.8.10 23:27


Körpergröße: 172 cm

 

Tabelle:

02.08.       63,4

03.08        63,6

04.08        63,9

05.08        62,6

06.08        63,1

07.08        63,6

08.08        62,4

09.08        62,6

10.08        63,5

11.08        62,4

12.08        61,9

13.08.       61,9

13.8.10 00:54


work work work

since monday i have rehearsals daily again. this means 3h dancing 3h singing and acting each day. i love it, because of the sports we do there and because there are always 6-8 h a day when i dont think and care about food.

the last past days were great but today i had some stress at home.

i ate: 1 joguhrt for breakfast                                   some potatoes and a bit beef for lunch                   than the rest of the day nothing BUT when i came home after the rehearsals at 11 p.m. my parents were argueing. and i was so stressed that i ate 1 sandwich with ham and chees AND THAN 1 BAR OF CHOCOLATE!!!!!! i never ate one bar of chocolate ever in my life, in one hour, in one day or ever!

sooo shocking. so tomorrow there will be no food for me. i have to look good on sunday.......meeting one of the two new hot guys.

love. M.

13.8.10 00:20


need it thin

 61,9 kg

yeah. thats the way it should be. i need  to make it. i really want to weight 57 or less when school starts again. i want everyone to recognize me. not only because of my style and appearance but this time also because of my new body. i want them to be jealous. i want this "WOW...have you seen M.? shes looking gorgeous."-effect. this time i will make it. i know it.

12.8.10 12:53


new game

still 62,4kg.

but there are two new guys in my life which makes it more exciting. boys are always a motivation for me so i hope that i will reach 61 kg at the end of the week.

love

M.

 

11.8.10 14:22


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